too many pennies

I haven’t painted in forever. This isn’t a painting. This is a fifteen minute vomit fest, conceived for what ever psychological reason I might want to spit out for the sake of “interpretation.” So there. I don’t really want to paint right now, but I feel like I should want to paint. But I’m doin’ other things, I s’pose, like writing and the like.

Don’t worry. I won’t turn this into the old “WHINE, WHINE, I must not be a REAL artist because I’m not PAINTING, WHAH” bullshit or whatever that I see here and there, because I’m over it, and I actually like to paint, so there! (Besides, OH GOD, when you think about it, where always does a drawing end and painting begin, elementary art class? Let’s all wriggle our eyebrows in shared understanding.) I just wish I had a freaking table that I could call my own. I’M SOO POOOOOR SOB

Besides, a person’s total value isn’t determined entirely by skills, let alone one set of skills, right? right? (I suppose that depends on your ethical system, NOW DOESN’T IT). SO YEAH.

Once upon a time, I was totally going to make a t-shirt design with Barret. Because I love Barret, and everybody else can just get off my train if there is any contention with that. (I don’t care if he’s a giant flaming stereotype, he’s awesome.) Anyway, the design wasn’t particularly creative or anything, but, then again, most fanart isn’t (OKAY I TAKE THAT BACK, IT DEPENDS ON THE FANART LOL).

Anyway, what’s this all about? Perhaps I feel guilty for not making more time, but it’s been growing out of my hands lately, and I’ve been giving it away like welfare. What motivates the creation of art? A churning energy, an itch, an idea, but regarding myself, it’s hard for me to draw when I’m anxious, so when that’s the case, I write (I SHAKE MY FIST AT YOU, COLLEGE PAPERS, FOR PERPETUATING THIS). RRRrreruraaaaaffhhhghgggg! (Okay, I kid, I miss writing papers sometimes, like, right now. Oh god. Did I just type that oh god).

So why haven’t I been writing more blog entries, then, if I am to imply that I haven’t been drawing because I’ve been writing?

GOOD QUESTION, KIDS, GO ASK YOUR FATHER, HARDY HAR

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